“For every successful actor or actress, there are countless numbers who don’t make it. The name of the game is rejection. You go to an audition and you’re told you’re too tall or you’re too Irish or your nose is not quite right. You’re rejected for your education, you’re rejected for this or that and it’s really tough.” -Liam Neeson
I lost my Comedy & Tragedy Mask ring in school today. My parents gave me the ring last Christmas, and it’s very upsetting to have lost it. I looked for it like crazy when I went back to the bathroom, where I thought I lost it, but it wasn’t there. I guess someone took it. I really hope they turn it in to the lost and found, but I doubt they will :(
So many memories lie with that ring.
I received my first pair of character shoes in the mail today, and used them tonight at rehearsals. How did I go seven years in Theatre without buying character shoes? Beats me, but I now have a beautiful black leather pair :)
Today, my best friend, after I told him we need audition pieces for state convention, said he was going to need help, from me, with his audition piece. I didn’t realize until now how just incredibly nice that was. He wants me to help him. He told me I was good. I mean, I know I’m good, but I try to be nonchalant about it because cocky people piss me off (even though that sounded cocky, ugh), and I’d rather have someone compliment me if I’m good if they think so. And then, I remembered that a few hours earlier, at Hobby Lobby, he said I was a great actress because I’m smart. He clearly stated that being smart is what makes me such a great actress because you have to be smart to act. Acting is really under appreciated if you don’t understand the life of an actor.
But the whole point is, my best friend gave me the biggest compliment ever, and helped reinforce my dream. I can do this. I can make the big move and make it to the big stage. I just have to stay determined and keep my focus. What a kid, I love him xx.
Whoa, I just realized that the Guys and Dolls cast list was the last musical cast list I will ever look at for a high school production. No more anxiety at the end of the year, waiting to see what role I got. This is it. Next year I’ll be graduating.
The idea of owning my own auditorium has become even more appealing, as I have given it thought. Just imagine, my very own stage to dance around whenever I want. I would be able to go in and out at any time of the day. Sounds wonderful.
The cast list goes up, and…I got the part of Mimi in Guys and Dolls. Here we go with another musical.
Today was bittersweet; the seniors said their goodbyes as they prepare for tomorrow’s graduation. It was hard seeing them go, but I did not cry, and I don’t know why. I’m emotional; I always cry. Twenty-two of our theatre kids are leaving us, and things have already changed. Emely & John are sitting with Christy, Troy & I at lunch. There are less of us in Theatre Productions, and the hallways are empty. I don’t think it’s hit me yet. Maybe it will tomorrow.
OAP Zone competition was last night. We performed, what I thought was, a great show. The audience (mostly) reacted really well to it; they loved it. Alas, we did not advance, BUT the judge LOVED the witches (me, Iris and Christy). We made the impossible happen. Only 8 actors are supposed to win All Star Cast; two from each school. Right as they were going to finish calling All Star Cast awards, only Bryson was up there for our school. I thought “what the heck. Were the witches really not good enough?” I mean, the awards ceremony had already surprised me with the other talented actors that didn’t win the awards I thought they were going to, BUT the contest manager called “the judge has chosen the three witches…” WE GOT ALL STAR CAST! FUCK YES! Ahaha ;D
Tell me four months ago that the witches were going to get All Star Cast, or that we were even going to be good, and I wouldn’t have believed you. We’ve come a long way. I mean, I know I’m a great actress *cough cough* but I didn’t think I could adapt to this role. It was the most difficult role I have taken on. I owe it to Carolyn and Ashly who gave us stable characters and helped us become more flexible. Being dancing, creepy, prostitute, flapper witches is fucking hard, man. Shit. But we did it :) And we have gotten so many compliments for it. It makes me giddy. I needed this. I needed a reassurance that this is what I’m meant to do. I love acting, but two weeks ago I doubted it because of this show. I don’t doubt it anymore.
I’m sort of going to miss these kids, and One Act. I’m going to have to wait until next year. It’s time to start up ITS again and resume my presidency, and get ready for musical auditions. The life of a theatre kid never ends.
I have little to no voice three days before our Zone OAP competition. Today is tech rehearsal. I have to get ready, put on my Macbeth shirt and head on to school at 1:00. I’m so tired. I have so much homework. I have many things to do, and all I really want it more sleep. And this boy, but I believe he’s attracted to another girl, so that’s out of reach. Yayyyy for Marymar, once again. Oooo! That reminds me, Coach Laz said he might just name his daughter Marymar so she’ll get after it (work) like I do :) That was a MAJOR compliment. Leave it to Coach Laz to be the only teacher who expresses that he believes in me. He also said he didn’t mind me coming in with rollers in my hair Tuesday. Oh the things I do for Theatre.
You know what’s missing? The audiences’ reaction. I do not think the audience is going to react to this show. That’s what I thrive off of- the “oohs” and “awhs!”
Yeah, this show is pissing me off. Have you ever felt like quitting? Theatre is what I love to do. I will not give up on it entirely just because my director and One Act show is pissing me off. Life is pissing me off, actually. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll be fine. I just need a two month break.
I’m supposed to be at rehearsal. I’m not; it was cancelled. We have four more rehearsals until Zone competition. FOUR! Do I think we’re ready? No. Am I nervous? HELL YES. It pisses me off that we don’t have a director as dedicated to the show as we are. Do you know why rehearsal was cancelled today? Because she got a tooth fixed! We are at rehearsal no matter what. I don’t want to not advance at Zone for petty mistakes. We need more rehearsals, more dedication. I am scared that I have put so much time and effort into this show to go nowhere. I have bruises. Bruises! From, intentionally, falling on stage. Ugh, this sucks. We need a miracle, and I need a positive attitude. We’ll see how tomorrow goes when I get back to school.
First of all, it’s Leap Day! And my cousin’s birthday! Woo, once every four years. Cool. Anyways, One Act is coming along. It’s still a little confusing as to where my blocking is because I’m on stage for the entire show, almost, but it’s going well.
I’ve been deprived of social networking because I’ve been so tired and stressed. I still am, but I needed a little breathing time. School is getting to me. I think it’d be a lot easier if I didn’t have AP Psychology because that just adds to my AP core classes, and then to top it all off, Theatre. It’s crazy, man (Leo voice). I’m so tired, and it’s apparent to others. I’m falling asleep in class more than usual. I’m behind in Pre-Cal. I need a mental health day. “Spring Break” is in a week and a half, and I’ll be spending four of my days at rehearsal. The rest, I shall sleep.
I spent Thursday night, Friday and all day Saturday with my One Act cast. We hosted a clinic and Mimi came to judge/be the clinician. It was fun. We watched a few plays, saw who are competing with at Zone, played around. It was an eventful weekend. Now, Christy and I thought we’d be tired of everyone by Saturday night so we’d just go home and not go to dinner with everyone else, but after our performance Saturday, we changed our minds. Bryson had a breakdown with Mimi, an epiphany, actually. He finally realized (and so did we) what the show was about. He went on stage and performed one of his last scenes before he was killed and it blew us away. I got chills, teared up and forgot it was Bryson up there acting. Then Mimi and Pritchard started talking to us about the show and how it completely took a turn for the better, tonight (Saturday). Once Mimi started crying, I did too. I finally understood that Christy, Iris and I (the witches) are the ones that are destroying Bryson’s (Macbeth’s) life. We manipulated him and his wife to kill everyone off, even his best friend, and then killed his wife- the only one he was living for. We are truly bitches. Then Pritchard had to throw in “if there is anyone that knows what it feels like to lose someone, it’s us,” and Christy and I started bawling. Ashley. She was speaking of Ashley. After that we couldn’t just not go to dinner, so we called up mine and Christy’s mom and we were on our way to Denny’s.
I am more that grateful I went to Denny’s. We had a blast, even though Daniel found a toe nail in his pancakes (ew). Christy paid for more than half of my meal because I only had $5 with me. She’s the best. Carolyn and Daniel spent half of the time telling stories about their family and childhood. Just to say, I love Daniel. He’s almost 16, and he still has the spirit of an 8 year old. We’re so alike. I love him. The night was absolutely great. We created a bond tighter and closer than two covalent molecules. We became a family. It took its time for it to happen, but once it did (last night), we became the closest, non-biological family there can be. I love my One Act cast, and now I know, we’ve got this.
Carolyn and I made up, and the weight was lifted off my shoulders. I passionately disliked her for two months because of misconceptions and rumors, and I had no idea. She didn’t even know there was a problem between us until this week. But I’m more than glad we made up, cried, talked/yelled it out, expressed our feelings and understood each other. REALLY understood each other. She’s going through a lot and I always thought she was being a drama queen about her problems, but I really didn’t know what was going on inside of her. Now that I do, I’m grateful we worked everything out. We literally stood in the costume closet and hugged and cried in each other’s arms for five to ten minutes. And at clinic we got along! I was happy to be at clinic and doing OAP stuff, as it should be. I really am blessed to have her in my life and I truly love her. All this drama was a big misunderstanding, but it taught us something, and hopefully made us closer. But she doesn’t have to be “fixed;” she just needs to live her life, step by step. And I’ll be there for her along the way. I didn’t talk to her for everyone else; I did it for myself.
I can’t deal. I don’t like you. Trust you. Want to talk to you, but I’m stuck helping Mimi, with you, this weekend. I don’t know if I want to tell you how much you have offended me without pushing you to the breaking point. But one thing’s for sure-you are ruining One Act for me. It was my only escape, and now I have to deal with you.